SCRIPTS

With recent short films winning 25 awards and appearing in over 130 festivals since 2016, I’m now writing feature films.

  FEATURE FILMS
Current Projects

“2012: The Ascension of Maggie Martinez” — comedy

A young Latina is so convinced the world is going to end on December 21 of 2012 that she quits her job, gives her car to her brother, and…sleeps with her boyfriend’s best friend. None of this would matter if the world had ended as she predicted. But since the world doesn’t end, it’s a problem!

Status: COMPLETED.
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SERGEANT MEAT— dark comedy (based on a true story)

The U.S. Army is the greatest fighting machine in the world. But that doesn’t mean they’re not also completely screwed up. It’s not their fault. It’s just the nature of war. This is one soldier’s story of the random insanity that constitutes warfare in the 21st century. If you haven’t been to war, you’ll say “WTF!” If you have, you’ll just say, “Yeah, that’s about right.”

Status: 105 pages written so far. An Iraq War veteran friend sat down and recounted scenes to me that could have come straight out of a movie. Now they will. I’m stitching together the stories he told me. Meeting with him again soon to review and see what else I need to add. Will probably come to 115–120 pages and then see what the producer wants to cut.
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THE HORROR! — slapstick comedy feature

Odd-couple half sisters Sophie and Elena join forces, with only 10 days to make a horror film. Everything that can go wrong does go wrong, and finally, when their monster costume burns to a crisp, they must resort to supernatural means to finish their film.

Sophie is a free-spirited actress in LA trying to be a filmmaker. Her half sister Elena is a novice but disciplined New York theatre producer coming to LA to work with Sophie on a low-budget horror film. They have only 10 days to shoot the film before Elena has to return to New York to start production on her first Off-Broadway show. After several mishaps and recoveries by their crew (who Sophie proudly found on LinkedIn), their monster suit gets burnt to a crisp. With no earthly hope left, they turn to supernatural means to finish their film. And just how, exactly, does that work?

Status: Currently 66 pages written. We have our location for free A professional monster designer is interested. 
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BIKER BABES— comedy (inspired by a true story)

What does a biker look like? In this case it looks like a 63-year-old former high school homecoming queen in a small town in Michigan. Lainie rode for 30 years alongside her husband Andy—on her own bike, because she “liked the power to determine my own destiny.” But Andy died of cancer two years ago, and a devastated Lainie has not recovered. When her friend Jo invites Lainie on a bike ride to California to visit her mother, she declines. But Jo, with a little trickery (okay, a bold-faced lie), takes advantage of Lainie’s compassionate nature to rouse her into getting back on her bike. Once they’re on the road, troubles and joys small and large both push the pair apart and bind them together. But will Jo’s lie unravel the whole thing? And are these two biker babes just too old for this shit?

Status: I’ve written 40 pages so far: a pretty darn good opening sequence, along with several other key scenes, The grand dame of Jeff Daniels’ Purple Rose Theatre, Michelle Mountain, has agreed to do a reading of the scenes along with an actress friend. The real-life “Lainie” has graciously sat down with me and shared stories of her adventurous life, and those have given me much inspiration. Most of the scenes so far have come from my imagination, though, and Lynne herself likes to stress that this is not her story—it’s just inspired by her story. But I’m trying to keep the story true to the person I know Lynne Farley to be. 
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書いて、ください = KAITE, KUDASAI = Write (it), Pleasecomedy feature in Japanese

Hikari says she can speak English and help make an important treaty for trade with the Americans. She actually only knows about ten words, but she figures her American counterpart will know Japanese. Guess again! He knows how to write the symbols, but not speak the words.

It’s 1854 in the small Japanese village of Inuoka, Japan. The local ruler orders a trade treaty be made with the Americans on the ship in the harbor, just as Edo (Tokyo) has just made such a treaty with Commodore Perry. 40-year-old Hikari sees this as her last chance to be somebody, and lies that she can speak English. Meanwhile, ship’s cook Albert Jenkins tells his captain he can speak Japanese. In truth, Albert loves the kanji—the 2000 characters used to write Japanese, but he only speaks about as much Japanese as Hikari speaks English. Together, they must somehow put together a treaty without being exposed as frauds .

Status: 34 pages so far. (And 17 translated into Japanese.) A Japanese producer has pronounced the opening scenes to be “hilarious already!” And he is friends with the guy who owns a model 19th century “ninja village” where we can shoot. 
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Further on up the Road

These are some ideas I have partially developed—and in some cases written multiple scenes for—but I’m not sure I want to continue with. Some may drop off; others I’m rather fond of, and sure to finish. But for right now I’ll be focussing on the Big Five, above. Still, i think it shows the range of my creativity and interests, so I’m leaving them here.

THE SILENT TREATMENT — romantic comedy, silent film (mostly)

How the heck can you win an argument if you have to keep your big mouth shut?!

Andy and Caroline parted two years ago on not very good terms. Now they unexpectedly run into each other at a silent meditation retreat… 

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ALGÚN DÍA (“Someday”) — comedy, mother/daughter road trip (in Spanish)

When you realize your own best ideas have kept you stuck for years…maybe it’s time to embark on a real adventure! (Even if the idea did come from your 9-year-old daughter.)

When I lived in Tijuana, Mexico, a friend told me this story: One day her 9-year-old daughter came to her and said, “Mommy, let’s move to Paris…

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GRAY DOWN THERE — musical comedy

Nancy and Roger have each gotten used to being alone for the last 20 years. But when they meet on a fun ocean cruise, there’s chemistry. Each considers the possible joy of not spending the next 20 years alone. But they wonder if they can still be sexy if it’s “gray down there.”

Nancy’s husband died 20 years ago. Roger has been divorced for just as long. She just got used to living alone. He just never found the right woman again. But an ocean cruise seems like a whole different world, and when their respective traveling companions goad them, they start to consider romance again. But can you still be sexy—and find someone else sexy—after 50?

Status: Notes. Seeking a 50+ woman cowriter. If this works as a musical, then we could turn it into a movie. I’m starting with a play because theater audiences are older.